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forgotten fathers
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forgotten fathers and their unforgettable children
In the early seventies, Arthur Shostak accompanied his partner to a well-groomed suburban abortion clinic. They had both agreed abortion was best. But sitting in the waiting room proved to be a "bruising experience." By the time he left the clinic, he was shocked by about how deeply disturbed he had become. A professor of sociology at Drexel University in Philadelphia, Shostak spent the subsequent ten years studying the abortion experience of men. His study included a survey of 1000 men who accompanied wives or girl friends to abortion clinics. Shostak's study was published in Men and Abortion: Lessons, Losses and Love (Praeger, 1984). continued ....
restoring fatherhood lost by Warren Williams
Fathers become involved in an abortion in one of five ways: (1) they encourage or support the woman to choose abortion; (2) they pressure her to abort; (3) they abandon her to make the decision alone: (4) they unsuccessfully oppose the abortion; or (5) they learn about the abortion only after it has been done. No matter how they were involved, most men will try to "stuff it away." They are embarrassed and ashamed. They seldom want to talk about it, even if they are experiencing a great sense of loss and pain. Most men are very reluctant to enter a process of healing. If they do share their loss with others, many will only partially reveal their pain. continued ... men and abortion, grief and healingI have a friend whose father disappeared in Mexico. The loss has been more painful for him than if his father had died in his arms. How can one grieve for a father who has simply disappeared? For that matter, how can one grieve for a child who has simply "vanished?" Fathers and mothers of aborted children are like my friend. Each must struggle with how to grieve the loss of a person who "disappeared" from their lives. The fact is this person, who truly did exist and touched their lives -- with longings, memories of fear or joy, visual images, bodily sensations, and dreams of what could be -- is now gone. continued ...
healing information and links
The web site at www.menandabortion.info includes research, articles, personal stories, information and healing resources for men. It also includes information for counselors and others who provide post-abortion help to men. The Fatherhood Forever Foundation at www.fatherhoodforever.org/index.html is dedicated to helping men find healing and hope after abortion by creating awareness that abortion does have an impact on men and providing encouragement and resources to those seeking help. The Men's Abortion Network at www.lifeissues.org/men/MAN/index.html is a network of researchers, counselors and others who promote healing and create awareness of men's abortion experiences. The site contains helpful articles and links to counseling resources. A speaker's bureau is also available. Men who have been involved in an abortion are invited to participate on an ongoing research study about their experiences. To take part in this confidential survey, visit www.abortionresearch.net. Women, grandparents, and medical personnel who have been involved in abortion are also invited to participate in surveys. Rachel's Vineyard post-abortion healing ministry has information for men on their web site at www.rachelsvineyard.org/men/index.htm. The group provides support for men struggling after abortion through weekend retreats and email support. Men whose partners have experienced abortion are also invited to attend the retreats with their partner.
The Abortion Recovery International web site at www.abortionrecovery.org lists groups that provide healing services for men (as well as for families members such as grandparents or siblings who have been affected by abortion.) Ramah International has a men's page with links to resources on their web site at www.ramahinternational.org/for-post-abortive-men.html. There is also a short page for men whose partners have experienced abortion at www.ramahinternational.org/post-abortive-spouse.html.
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